It’s Not Just What You Say …And Not Even How You Say It!

The correct use of words in a conversation could make or break a sale, and or any type of relationship. Did you mean to say what you said and more importantly, what did the receiver interpret.

A man says to a woman “you are a very attractive lady” and the lady responds with “thanks, I like the way I look in your eyes”.  He noticed a handicap card hanging in the window of the car she was getting into. He then wondered did she accept or reject my complement.  Did her response mean more than just the words she uttered? 

A lady says to a man “That suit looks good on you” and another lady says to the same man “You look good in that suit”.  What are they saying?  You may say they are saying the same thing but in fact they don't mean the same thing. 

Is the man interpreting the compliments to mean the same, or is he unconsciously saying one of them admires me and the other admires my suit?  The ladies intents may have been to say the same thing, but the receiver may unconsciously feel better about one of them than he does the other without consciously knowing why. 

This happens all the time in Sales and in everyday communication without us ever being aware of what is taking place.  From just a few words a person may say “I don’t know what it is about that salesperson but I just don’t like him or her. 

Why is it that two people can give the same advice to a person, and the person disregard the advice from one and get excited and accept the advice from the other? The first person may say to them "that's exactly what I said".  The reason this occurs may be because one of the people they like, trust and or respect more than the other so they receive the advice without any static or noise as the filter the advice.

The person that they readily accept advice from would be referred to as someone significant or called a significant other in some cases and in other cases may be referred to as a hypnotic authority.  Because the person is one that you trust, like, respect and or believe and have no reason not to listen to them you.  (no noise or static exist in the relationship)  When advice is filter through noise or static in the relationship. The noise or static or breach of trust in the relationship may block the advice making it difficult to hear or receive from one person versus a person speaking from a noise and or static free environment.  

Just like listening to a radio signal when there is no static or unnecessary noise. You have a clear channel of communication.  This lends itself to the ole “innocent until proven guilty” mindset. 

Many people believe images that may or may not be real.  But their belief makes it real.   If you walked into a doctor's office for the first time on April 1st and unbeknownst to you the janitor was in a white coat sitting behind the doctor’s desk and began to ask you questions, say the right words and give you advice.  You may tend to believe that he or she was the doctor until they yell “April fool”. 

Prior to that point and based on the image and your expectations you had allowed the janitor to become a significant other or your hypnotic authority, and you were willing to take his or her advice. 

The receiver’s interpretation and filtration system which filters out “noise and static” may cause them to listen to the advice of one “no noise –no static” person over the other even when they are both giving the same advice.  

Learn the power of words and how to better use them as well as pay attention to how and if your message is being received,  and if not what is the noise, static or distraction that is  interfering with clear reception vs. just what you are saying if you want to accomplish your desired results. 

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